


we rise, we fall

by arpeggioschuyler



Series: the elams fake dating au, for lack of a better title [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Fake Dating, Fluff, Multi, Other, aaron: done with ham's shit, abusive family dynamic, alexander: tiny human bean full of rage, angelica: that one friend who's intimidating but hot, eliza: cinnamon roll that probs bakes cinnamon rolls, fake dating au, hahaaha that's fun, henry laurens: DICKWAD, herc: the mom friend that pretends they aren't the mom friend, jmadz: always sick always annoyed, john: super spiteful medical dude, laf: overly protective baguette, mainly angst tho, maria: INNOCENT. FITE ME, peggy: omniscient and underappreciated, theodosia: laughing at aaron probably, tjeffs: bag of garbage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-03-03
Packaged: 2018-05-21 11:48:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6050518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arpeggioschuyler/pseuds/arpeggioschuyler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John is spiteful, Alexander is angry, Eliza is Eliza, and somehow they end up fake-dating.</p><p>Or, the Elams fake dating au that you never knew you needed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. john

**Author's Note:**

> IM JUDGING MYSELF SO HARD RN
> 
> I AM ELAMS TRASH ROT IN HELL WITH ME 
> 
> — WARNING FOR ABUSIVE FAMILY DYNAMICS AND HOMOPHOBIC SLURS AND DRINKING AND IMPLIED SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
> 
> wow now it sounds dark
> 
> enjoy!!

The sky is dark, there's loud house party music blaring in the distance, and John Laurens sits alone in his dorm room, debating whether or not to open another bottle of beer.

Alcohol isn't allowed in dorm rooms, and John knows his roommate, Madison, will have a bone to pick with him once he's back from the school health centre. John's just finished his sixth at this point, and decides, screw it, and opens lucky number seven. He takes a sip, the taste dull to him after so many. God, what a loser he is. Sitting alone in his dorm room, drinking, and shoving away recurring, painful thoughts that some might call suicidal. John wouldn't call it that, though. It's an unhealthy blend of self-loathing, spitefulness, and fear, but it isn't quite considered suicidal.

John flips open his laptop, taking another sip of his beer. The screen is still on the page he'd left it on earlier that night. It's on his email, and in that neat font that for some reason he despises, it reads:

_John,_

_This is your father. I heard from my acquaintance Montgomery that you are heavily involved in something known as the GSA. He informed me it stands for the Gay Straight Alliance. I thought you were done going through your teenage rebellion phase. First your major change, and now this? I am very disappointed in you. You know better than to join a fag club and try and leave a mark on my reputation. If I truly cannot persuade you to apply to law school, then perhaps I can persuade you to leave the fag club. Or I may have to find other methods of persuasion. Anyways, all this to say— as much as your sister would like you home for the holidays, I would prefer if you stayed at school and studied for your medical exams, and reflected on your change of major. Perhaps some alone time will do you some good, and you can use the time to quit the fag club if you haven't done so already. I expect an email or a phone call with updates._

_Henry_

John reads the email for the hundredth time, letting a bitter laugh escape from his lips. Then he takes a long swig of his beer, grabs his phone, opens the contact app, and presses firmly on the contact that reads "Henry Laurens".

A ring. Another one. A third. Then:

“John. When I said for you to call me with an update, I didn't expect it to be at quarter to one in the morning.” John hears his father's stern voice say, and John's drunk enough that he doesn't feel scared.

“That's when I saw it, Pops,” he drawls in a mockery of a South Carolinian accent, popping the p.

“Are you drunk?” His father sounds almost angry. Wow. Not even thirty seconds and John's managed to get him all riled up.

“Yeah, what's it to you?” John counters.

“I don't hear any music in the background. Are you drinking alone? Is this what your change in major has gotten you?” John rolls his eyes. God, his father will use anything to bring that up.

“Actually, I'm with people.” And then, John doesn't know what compels him to say it, but he does. “My girlfriend.”

“Oh! That's amazing, you never to—”

“And my boyfriend. It's polyamory. I'm not straight. I am the farthest thing from straight you can get, pops.” John finishes on an impulse, and he can hear his father's anger radiating from the phone.

“I did not raise my son as a faggot,” Henry snaps, and then, clearing his head: “And why can't I hear them in the background then? Are you making them up for your extended teenage rebellion streak?”

“I'm at my girlfriend's house. They're both in the bedroom. They're waiting for me to join them, so I'll be going now. See you never, pops.” John finishes with a flourish. He can hear his father start to splutter angrily on the other end, but he presses the red end call button with an air of satisfaction.

He tosses his phone aside, determined not to look at it for the rest of the night, and brings up Netflix in place of the email on his laptop. He takes a long swig of his beer and Gilmore Girls starts playing.

He doesn't look over at his empty bed, where there isn't anyone waiting for him. Not once. Not at all. And he certainly doesn't try and resist the temptation to peek over. And above all, he completely doesn't wish that he had someone waiting for him.

  
John wakes up the next morning on the floor, with a pounding head, seven empty beer bottles, and a disapproving, sickly roommate looming over him.

“Good, you're alive,” James Madison says, and then he sneezes.

Josh stretches, knocking over another empty bottle as he does, and then he pulls himself into a sitting position. “Unfortunately,” he remarks. “You feeling any better?”

Madison sneezes again, and then shrugs.

“Me too, buddy, me too. Got any aspirin?“ John asks.

“On your desk. Why did you decide to drink alone this time?” Madison asks pointedly. To anyone else, it would seem like a prying, invasive insult, but John knows his roommate is just looking out for him.

“Lonely. Dad was being a dick.” he answers shortly, pulling himself to his feet and stumbling over to his desk for water and aspirin.

“Sounds fun. I need to go to class—” why Madison took a Sunday class was still confusing “— and you need to clean this up. See you later.”

“See ya, hope you feel better.” John responds, taking the aspirin and chasing it with water. As Madison leaves, John grabs his phone, checking what he was up to. Drunken snapchats of Gilmore Girls, sappy texts to The Revolutionary Set, and a minute long call to his dad. It comes back to him, what he said, and he groans.

What kind of mess has he gotten himself into now?

  
The phone call to his dad is what leads him to knock at Alexander Hamilton's door. He's showered, cleaned up the mess, and looks like he does on every other day, but Alexander will see right through him.

The door is opened by a short, ponytailed guy, bouncing on the balls of his feet with some kind of insane energy no one should have at 10am on a Sunday morning. “My dear Laurens, what brings you here?” Alexander asks charmingly, stepping aside to let him in.

John has no choice but to start with the truth. “I fucked up,“ he admits slowly. _Because when don't you fuck up?_ The voice in the back of his head nags, but he shoves it away with a vengeance. He can wallow in self-loathing later.

“What? What happened? Who do I need to fight? Man, I'm not even kidding. I will beat up whoever—” Alexander starts, and John cuts him off.

“It's my dad. And no, you're not allowed to fight him.” John says sternly, pushing away the thought that he would love to see Alexander fight Henry Laurens. “I may have been drunk last night. And I also may have told him that I'm not straight and that I'm in a polyamorous relationship.”

“I would've loved to see the look on his face,” Alexander laughs. “What's the problem then?”

“The problem is that I'm not in a polyamorous relationship. My dad's gonna look into this, he's going to check Facebook and talk to Montgomery and Knox, and try and see if it's real. I need to fake date people for a little bit until I'm in the clear.” John pauses, tugging at his ponytail nervously, gauging Alexander's reaction.

He laughs. “I volunteer! I was planning to try and prove a point anyways, and Jefferson's gonna be so jealous. Also, did you specify genders? How many more people do you need?” John looks at Alexander, who is still full of energy and bouncing of the balls of his feet, and he smiles.

“Perfect. One more person. A girl.” John specifies, and then, there's a knock at the door.

John opens it to a harried-looking Eliza Schuyler. Despite the crease in her brow, the rest of her is perfectly put together as usual. “John, thank god you're here. Alexander's in too?”

“Yeah, come on in. What's the matter?” John asks, and Eliza steps inside. He shuts the door behind her.

“I need a fake partner,” she blurts out, and John looks at her in disbelief. He catches Alexander's eye and they both burst into laughter. “No, seriously, guys, I messed up, it's for Peggy's birthday and I thought you guys could help me out, or find someone for me. Are you guys okay, or?”

“Yeah, yeah, don't worry,” John waves off her concerns, straightening up. “The thing is, I fucked up and told my dad I was in a polyamorous relationship with a guy and a girl, and I need Facebook proof.”

Eliza's eyes widen dramatically. “That works out perfectly! So, fake partners, then?”

“It's a deal,” John says with a slight smile, turning to Alexander. Eliza inclines her head at him in a silent question.

“Duh,” he says. “Macaroni fucker's gonna be so jealous, I can't wait.”

“Okay, the party's next Friday, for Peggy's birthday. Formal wear, of course, I can help you guys find something. You guys can stay at the Schuyler place, because the real party is Saturday night. That works out with your class schedules, right?”

“What time do we have to be there on Friday?” Alexander questions.

“Probably around 3:30,” Eliza answers.

“That works out, I have a morning class. Awesome! Time to put it on Facebook! Here's the real question: does Facebook allow you to be in a relationship with more than one person?” Alexander says animatedly.

“I'm sure we can find a way to make it happen,” Eliza says, ever the optimist. “I gotta run, though, Angelica, Peggy, and I are going out shopping for the parties. Start spreading the news around, okay?”

“Alright, wait one sec.” John says, taking out his phone, and standing on one side of Eliza. Alexander stands on the other side, and John snaps a few selfies of them looking adorable before he puts his phone away.

“Send me those, please? I'm wearing my colour so it goes with my theme, especially if I run it through the Process filter.” Eliza says, smiling. “See you guys later, thank you so much!” She takes her leave, and John shuts the door behind her.

“I'm gonna go run out and grab coffee, want anything?” Alexander says.

“Peppermint latte?” John requests sheepishly.

“I got you, my dear Laurens. Start sharing it with the world!” Alexander says, grabbing a bag and dashing out the door.

John flops onto Alexander's bed, uploading the best selfie to Instagram, and then, changing his status on Facebook with the help of Reddit.

**John Laurens is in a relationship with Alexander Hamilton and Eliza Schuyler.**

He looks at this, satisfied, and starts texting people, tweeting about it, and going onto Alexander's tumblr to announce it. Just as he's about to tweet "YES I AM DATING THE TWO MOST BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE ON THIS EARTH. YES WE KEPT IT A SECRET. FITE ME", there's an incoming phone call on his phone.

The caller ID is blocked, but John knows exactly who it is. He's not drunk anymore, he doesn't have false bravery, and the voices in his head calling him a coward are amplified. He swipes to pick up.

“Hello, father.”


	2. eliza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is okay, Peggy is omniscient and also gets a lot of money. That's all you need to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idek what this chapter is im not good at writing lighthearted stuff here have some schuyler siblings

**LAFAYETTE!!! @mjpyrgdmmdlaf  
** @adotham @blueschuy @turtleman Okay this has been going on for five months and now I hear about it?

 **HERCULES MULLIGAN @horse.fucker**  
@mjpyrgdmmdlaf I KNOW RIGHT WTF. ALSO PLEASE CHANGE YOUR USERNAME THAT IS A PAIN

 **LAFAYETTE!!! @mjpyrgdmmdlaf**  
Excuse moi, this is a homage to my name: Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette. Casse toi.

 **HERCULES MULLIGAN @horse.fucker**  
@mjpyrgdmmdlaf FUCK YOU TOO. ANYWAYS @adotham @blueschuy @turtleman U MADE ME LOSE THE BET

 **Eliiiiiiiza @blueschuy**  
@horse.fucker … you bet on us?

 **HERCULES MULLIGAN @horse.fucker**  
@blueschuy WELL I BET ON @adotham and @turtleman GETTING TOGETHER AROUND CHRISTMAS

 **LAFAYETTE!!! @mjpyrgdmmdlaf**  
@blueschuy I presumed that the three of you would get together a month from now. Your sibling guessed this month.

 **Eliiiiiiiza @blueschuy**  
@mjpyrgdmmdlaf … which one please tell me it isn't philly j

 **LAFAYETTE!!! @mjpyrgdmmdlaf**  
@blueschuy Do not worry mon ami. It was dearest @pegamypuff

 **(p)egg(** **y) @pegamypuff**  
@mjpyrgdmmdlaf @blueschuy  
you rang??????????

 **Eliiiiiiza @blueschuy**  
@pegamypuff yes how much money did you get with that bet

 **(p)egg(y) @pegamypuff**  
@blueschuy $700 lmao

 **Eliiiiiiiza @blueschuy**  
@pegamypuff who bet the most omg

 **(p)egg(y) @pegamypuff**  
@blueschuy lmao it was @thomjeffs he's a spiteful little shit,,,, he bet u and @turtleman gettin together

Eliza puts her phone away, satisfied with the answer she got. She's waiting outside the mall, leaning against a wall, waiting for Angelica and Peggy to show up so they can shop. A sleek red car that she recognizes as Angelica's pulls into a close parking spot, and both doors open. Angelica steps out of the left side, radiant as ever. She's dressed in pale pink leather jacket, which would look awful on anyone else but her. Her jacket is accompanied by a white, flowing top, black leggings, and black combat boots. Eliza catches her older sister's eye and waves at her. Angelica smiles at her and turns, saying something to the person getting out the passenger side. That would be Peggy, her younger sibling. Peggy's hair is up with a topknot and they're dressed in navy overalls with a yellow shirt underneath and yellow shoes. The Schuyler sisters (Peggy is fine with the name) all have had their signature colours since Eliza was in senior kindergarten— Eliza's wearing her signature light blue, per usual.

Angelica and Peggy walk toward her as the former waves excitedly. “Hey, Liza!” Peggy says cheerful.

“Hey Pegs, hey Ang,” Eliza says, smiling.

“Don't you dare 'hey Ang' me, I want an explanation. Since when are you dating Hamilton and Laurens?” Angelica tries to sound stern, but Eliza knows her well enough to know she's not actually mad or upset.

“May 27th,” Eliza smiles. “Five month anniversary is in a few days.”

“So why now? Why decide to share it with the world?” Angelica demands to know.

“We were getting sick of hiding, and John and I knew that Alex was going to tell everyone eventually.” Eliza lies, making it sound as plausible as possible.

Angelica nods, apparently believing this. “Let's go in, we don't have a lot of time. First priority, an outfit for the birthday kid. Pegs, what are you thinking?”

Peggy considers this as they walk in. “I'm feeling a semi-casual suit, maybe. Yellow, of course.”

“We're doing signature colours?” Eliza checks.

Angelica laughs. “Since when do we not?”

“Okay, I just gotta text Herc to have him get ties for Alex and John.” Eliza says, starting to pull out her phone, but she's stopped when Angelica speaks again.

“No need. As soon as you announced it, I texted him.” Angelica says with a smile.

“Thanks, Ang,” Eliza grins at her. Peggy grabs hers and Angelica's hands and leads their sisters into a fancy looking store that Eliza doesn't recognize.

“This is where Herc works,” Peggy explains. “I love it. He texted ahead once I told him what I was looking for, and they apparently have a few options ready for us.”

An woman with deep plum lipstick approaches them with a smile. She looks familiar, but Eliza can't place it. “The Schuylers! Want to follow me to the back? Herc and I picked out a few options for each of you.”

“That's great, thanks, Theo!” Peggy chirps, and it clicks. Theodosia Prevost, Aaron Burr's girlfriend. She's about five or six years older than Aaron, and there was something going on with an affair. Eliza doesn't know the whole story. She doesn't need to.

The siblings follow Theodosia to the back, where, true to her word, there is a vast amount outfits hanging from a rack. Hercules knows them well— their signature colours are in their age order, and everything is exactly their specific styles.

“Ang, you wanna go first?” Peggy offers.

“Sure, if you don't mind,” Angelica says easily, taking her stack of light pink dresses off the rack.

“Hercules also said that if you're feeling one of those in a different colour, there's duplicates in your second and third favourite colours in the back.” Theodosia states, practiced but kind.

“Thank you so much!” Eliza says cheerfully.

“Let me know if you need me.” Theodosia says, making her leave as a mother-daughter pair come into the shop.

Angelica steps into the dressing room. “I'll show you each one!” She says with a smile before shutting the door. Just after that, Peggy grabs Eliza's arm and pulls her away out of Angelica's hearing range.

“Why?” They demand to Eliza's confusion.

“What?” She blinks innocently.

“Why are you fake dating Hammy and JLo?” Peggy says inquisitively.

“What are you talking about? I'm not—”

“Cut the crap, Eliza. We don't have a lot of time before Ang comes out. Why?“ Peggy says sharply, and god, her little sibling is too smart for their own good.

“It's beneficial to all of us.” Eliza tells her the truth.

Peggy sighs. “I'm sure it is. Feel free to come crying to me when you actually fall in love with them.“ They move back towards the dressing room and Eliza follows them instinctively, just as Angelica steps out in a stunning floor-length gown. It's sleek and form-fitting, accentuating her curves in the best way possible. It's a one-shoulder with a full length sleeve for her left arm, but she pulls it off.

“Damn,“ Peggy says. “That looks amazing.”

“Really? I don't know how I feel about the sleeve.” Angelica says, studying herself in the mirror.

“You look good,” Eliza contributes kindly.

Angelica sighs. “We're going to be here all day if we keep trying things on separately. Let me grab Theodosia, ask her opinion, and then see if we can take up two more dressing rooms.” Angelica says, taking off, despite being in a constricting dress and no shoes.

Peggy turns to Eliza. “Okay. This fake dating thing.”

Eliza swallows. “What about it?”

“You need to figure out your backstory. How you got together. Where your first date was. The exact date you got together. What you did for all your monthly anniversaries. And most importantly, when you're going to break up.” Peggy lists off.

“Right.” Eliza shifts her balance. “I'll figure it out with them soon.” She takes out her phone, taps out a quick text to them to meet at a coffee shop tomorrow.

Peggy leans over, looking at her phone. “Change their contact names. Add a heart, put 'my love' in it, something.”

“Will do.” Eliza says, adding red hearts beside her boyfriends names.

Angelica comes back over with Theodosia, who unlocks two more dressing rooms. “Go right ahead,” she gestures, and Eliza carefully grabs her dresses, slipping into the room next to Angelica's.

Everyone changes and gushes over each other's outfits fairly quickly. At the end, Angelica decides to go with a sleek strapless gown, similar to the one she tried on first but without the sole sleeve. Peggy goes with their signature pastel yellow, all dolled up in a blazer, a white dress shirt, and tight pants. Eliza decides to wear a light blue number with a high neck and a flowing skirt. They pay quickly, and soon are on their way out, searching for shoes.

“You might as well pay for my shoes, Ang,” Peggy says, pursing their lips as they browse shoes.

Angelica's eyebrows knit together. “Why would I do that? I already have your birthday gift.”

“Because you owe me money from the bet,” Peggy says, picking up a pair of black heels and studying them. Eliza watches her siblings with avid fascination.

“I don't owe you, yours wasn't— oh.” Angelica sighs. “It's only forty bucks though, your shoes will cost a lot more.”

“Who'd you bet on, Ang?” Eliza asks curiously.

“You and Alexander,” she says. “I set you up in the beginning, I thought it just took you a while to realize I was trying to set you up.”

“I'm the only one that said you, John, and Alex,” Peggy says proudly, moving on to look at another pair of shoes.

“Did you forget Lafayette?” Angelica challenges as she displays a pair of white stilettos to her siblings. “Also, yes or no?”

“They were kidding when they made that bet,” Peggy says, pouting. “Also, yes.”

“Yeah, looks good. How many people bet on us again?” Eliza questions.

Peggy sighs, and starts to count on her fingers. “Me, Ang, Laf, Herc, Philly J, Adri, Aaron, Thomas, Jemmy, GWash, MWash, Martha Manning, Maria Lewis, Steuben, Pierre, Ned, Jay, Dolley, Maria Cosway, Martha Laurens, Liz Sanders, Lee, Seabury, André, Benny Franklin, Church, Pinckney, Monroe, and Sally.” They pause for breath as Eliza stares in shock. “Oh, and Ma and Pa. Twenty six people. The least donated was five bucks from Philly J, cause he wanted to feel important.”

“Holy shit,” Eliza says, then regroups her thoughts. “You don't need $700, Peggy. What are you gonna do with that?”

“Dunno. I'll figure something out. Maybe bribe my bio prof to give me an A on the final, no one can resist a handful of Lin-Manuel Mirandas, you know?” Peggy says, and picks up a pair of simple, low black heels. “I'm feeling this look.”

“Looks good,” Eliza says slowly, still trying to comprehend everything she's heard. “I have a pair at home I'm gonna wear, you know the cream Nine West ones?”

“Oh, yes, those would go perfectly.” Peggy gushes.

Eliza turns her attention to the oddly silent Angelica. “What's the matter, Angie?”

Angelica sighs, and straightens up, spine as straight as a rod. “I just don't want you to get hurt. Laurens struggles a lot, and Alexander… I just get the feeling that he'll do whatever it takes to survive.”

“Ang, I'll be fine, I promise.” Eliza says kindly.

“I want you to be safe,” Angelica says, and doesn't say any more than that.

Eliza watches Angelica as she strolls over to the cash register, giving off an air of power. She smiles at the cashier like a shark. Then, she glances at Peggy, who is studying her equally with raised eyebrows. They tighten their ponytail, and incline their head towards the cash register. Eliza pushes all her worries out of her head as her and her siblings go to pay for their shoes.

It'll be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hint: it will not be fine.
> 
>  
> 
> ok,,, so; peggy's list of betters are all real historical people:
> 
> Margarita Schuyler Van Rensselaer; Angelica Schuyler Church; Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette; Hercules Mulligan; Philip Jeremiah Schuyler; Marie   
> Adrienne Françoise de Noailles, Marquise de Lafayette; Aaron Burr; Thomas Jefferson; James Madison Jr; George Washington; Martha Dandrigde Washington; Martha Manning Laurens; Maria Lewis Reynolds; Friedrich Wilhiem August Heinrich Ferdinand Steuben; Pierre Etienne Du Ponceau; Edward Stevens; John Jay; Dolley Payne Todd Madison; Maria Hadfield Cosway; Martha Laurens Ramsay; Elizabeth Sanders Mulligan; Charles Lee; Samuel Seabury; John André; Benjamin Franklin; John Barker Church; Thomas Pinckney; James Monroe; Sally Hemmings; Catherine Van Rensselaer Schuyler; Philip Schuyler Sr. 
> 
> im in class i rly should be working bye have fun,,,,

**Author's Note:**

> maya read my plan for the whole fic and called me evil and threatened to throw my phone


End file.
